Weird, yes?

Did you ever feel like you’re about to die? No, I am not being suicidal. I just literally felt it, somehow. Today we had our aquatic training, and yes we did liftings in the pool, hence, my sunburn. So after a 10-minute jog/sprint in bikinis, mind you, and a whole lot of crazy endurance challenges (including 30 reps of squat thrusts ☹) I saw light everywhere. Just like a picture that is overexposed or one with a high ISO, everything illuminated. I heard our coach counting while we stretch but her voice seemed so far away. I was forcing myself to just let it go but I can’t, I can really feel my body giving up. And I also feel like throwing up. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I used all energy that’s left in me, excused myself from our coach and rushed into the restroom. Then I quickly splashed water on my face, and that woke my senses back. Good thing, I didn’t pass out. And at that moment I felt alive. Alive because I kept myself from fainting. I mean, anyone who’s dead cannot faint right? I suddenly had this strong desire to dust myself off and be happy again, despite my recent catastrophic, tragic (you name it) misfortune. I am so sorry I exaggerate a little but I really thought my life was over back there. And that frightened me. It made me realize that there’s more to life than him. And today, I am giving myself a chance to live. To live without any baggage from the past. I am starting anew. Don’t get me wrong, cause I will never forget you. But I am making a decision to learn to be genuinely happy without thinking about you. On a different note, I am a front spotter and a back spotter now. Plus, I also saw my future house, too bad I wasn’t able to take a photo of it. =)