Weird, yes?

Thought this day was “normal”. Me just chilling at home, watching Despicable Me. But then I saw something. And *poof* PUTANGINA. Ayoko na. This day came way sooner than I thought. I always knew that it will happen. But not at this time. And for the first time I know there is nothing that I can do but grieve silently. I admit, I accepted defeat a long time ago. But this last blow is just too much for me. Honestly, I am still hoping for that chance. Chance to make things right. Chance to turn things around. And I screwed up. Big time. And it sucks that this is all happening two days before Christmas. Felt like crying, but I know that it will only make me look stupid and dumb and a loser. I wanna yell at you, yell the things that I should have said two summers ago. You know what’s even worse? It’s that I know in my heart that for whatever’s reason I can never ever blame you. No matter what you do, whether sinasadya mo man or hindi, you will still be who I want to be with. I can’t even promise myself to move on. Because I know I can’t. And yes, the truth really hurts. And it hurts like hell. And putangina talaga.